Because I did not have a significant other on Valentine's Day, and because I've never had a significant other, I would like to talk about significant others.
I've hit the point in life where I want to be in a relationship, but the one person I want to be in a relationship with doesn't want one with me, and even if that opportunity opened up to me, I probably wouldn't take it.
I don't feel ready.
I'm also about to do that thing where you tell people in some part of the world about Jesus, so now's probably not a good time to get into a relationship anyway. But I'd be such a good boyfriend.
I've been the third wheel of WAY too many relationships to realize what is right and what is wrong, yet I'm afraid to actually practice that with someone. I want the first person I get into a relationship with to be the person I marry.
Divorce has always been my number one fear, which was heightened when my parents got one, because I like it when things work. I like it when people don't give up.
I hate it when love fails.
The main reason I don't want a relationship is because I know I will spend way too much time on her. My friend group was almost ruined last year because of my friends overobsessing over their baes, and I don't want to do that to anyone.
But at the same time, I want a girl that I can talk about anything with, hold hands with, laugh with, cry with, sing with, dance with, fight with, and lip kiss with from time to time. I want to treat one girl better than the rest, and I want her to be okay with it.
I want to make someone else feel beautiful.
I want to make her feel beautiful.
But since that won't happen soon, I think I just need to accept the fate that I'm not ready for a relationship right now. I'd probably mess something up and go,
"What, how did I do that?! So-and-so did that and it was stupid, and I said I'd never do that, and girls, and I'm a dumb, and asdfjgkjdgfkjadghf!!"
As you can see, my brain is a roller coaster. I just want to find a girl that's willing to take the ride and enjoy it.
And my only fear besides divorce is that I may never find that girl.
I enjoyed this very much. I totally know how you feel with the divorce, my parents as well. I'll do anything to stay away from that. Love should be love.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate this because it's actually a lot of the stuff I think! Including that part about how good of a boyfriend you would be, because I put that in my blog too, well not about you but about me... because I would be a good boyfriend too... anyways congratulations im sorry for this comment
ReplyDelete"Lip kiss with" 😂. I also agree with you!
ReplyDelete"But I'd be such a good boyfriend."
ReplyDeleteThis is sweet and honest and real and funny.
umm i think youre all definately ready to date. because id date you and any of these blogs really. its down to earth and i love this.
ReplyDeleteA lot of the things you said were my thoughts exactly, only voiced waaay better than anything I could have done. This piece is very real. Good job!
ReplyDeleteJust like.
ReplyDeleteSame.
To all of this. Like seriously.
I have these thoughts all the time. I didn't realize that we live the same life.
"As you can see, my brain is a roller coaster. I just want to find a girl that's willing to take the ride and enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteAnd my only fear besides divorce is that I may never find that girl." this is perfection.