Sayounara

The weight of two years hasn't quite hit me yet, but maybe that's because when you really think about it, two years is not a long time.

But it is.

Because it'll go by super fast for me, but I don't know if it will for my friends and family.  And I'm afraid of where everyone will be once I get back.  I'm afraid a lot of people I care about now will be gone.

I'm beyond excited to be going to the country I've always wanted to go to, but all of this work will change me more than any normal visit to Japan.

I'm one of those people where something doesn't really hit me until long after it's happened.  It's hard for me to think that there's an end to things, because I have this eternal perspective that not only comforts me, but also makes me somewhat apathetic.

Like it's just now kicked in what I'm getting myself into, and I'm nervous, and I'm scared, but... I'm ready.

I've found out that this is the time where I need to go, a time to just focus on the work of the One who created me, and less about myself.

I'm excited to see the changes that happen to me, but I'm more excited to see the changes that happen to the Japanese people.

I'll see you in two, minasan.

It's not over yet,

Elder Brailsford

The Indescribable Eye-Color

She has said several times that because of a stroke, her eyes are sometimes "off", and that's why she doesn't like them.

But part of me likes it when she complains about her eyes, because then I have a good excuse to look at them.  They're absolutely beautiful.

Indescribable.

If the most beautiful shade of green and the most beautiful shade of brown had a baby, the product would be her eyes.  They are literally captivating.

I've never really been mesmerized by a girl's eyes before, but with hers I've actually had to snap myself out of looking at them, no joke.

Everytime she says, "My eyes are probably crooked!" I look at them and say, "No they're not, they're beautiful."  And I mean it.  I never want to look away.

Especially if the beauty of her eyes reflect the beauty of her soul.

I'm Still Confused

I still don't know if the feeling is mutual.

I was okay with "funny" and "cute," but I didn't think "male" was the issue.  And no, she's not a lesbian.

Stadium of (She Was) Fire

Tonight Journey told me someday love would find me, but it didn't find me tonight.  Probably because we were with my family, so that could've been weird.  But she was fire.

That was probably the best date of my life, and considering my family was there, that's saying something.

I just wanted to keep taking SnapChat videos not only because Journey was so dang good, but because me getting her to rock out was the cutest thing to watch.  It was so fun being myself and having her laugh.

I don't think she feels the same way, but I do at the same time.  It's really weird.

Tonight was the best, it truly was.  Of course I was awkward at times and of course we didn't get to know that much about each other, but I felt like we really bonded, and that was cool.

We reacted the same way to basically everything that happened tonight, and I was like, "We have the same brain and she's beautiful, what a freaking day to be alive!"

I believe something can happen, and I'd love for something to happen, but I just don't want to rush anything.  And I won't stop believing (as Journey would say).

You know how in movies when the guy is staring love-struck at the girl when she's looking at something else and girls think it's super cute?  Yeah, I was doing that a lot tonight.  Like a lot, because she was so beautiful.

There were fireworks and legendary rock bands playing, but I just wanted to look at her the whole time.  Watching her take it all in was the best part.

She's just such a fun person, and that was with my family.  I can't imagine what a date without my family would be like, but it sounds like it'd be too good to be true.

My arms are wide open, Ms Davis, even though Journey didn't even play that song tonight.  Will you come to me, or do I have to come to you?

You Are Not Ordinary

You may have a very "ordinary" name, but you are not ordinary.  You're something extra... Extraordinary (don't worry, I know that was stupid).

I feel like I know who you are.  You're seen as the sidekick.  The third-wheel.  The hot yet not as popular one... Like me (also stupid, I know).  You even have a twin, which could make you feel even more sidekickish.

But you are more than a sidekick to me.  We've third-wheeled together.  And you are definitely hot.

Also, I hope you don't feel that way around your twin, because you are beautiful just the way you are.  I wish I could tell you that.

But the problem with individuals that you think are right for you is that you're not sure if they feel the same way, and it makes you kinda really want to explode, wondering if you trying to pull a move will pull her closer.

We have 0 performances to make something happen backstage, and we have 7 days to make something happen between us.  I hate that I would just leave you after such a small time, but the only amount of time that seems smaller than that is times I get to spend with you.

That's definitely not enough time for fornication, so your mom wouldn't have to worry about anything (inside joke).

One of your best friends and one of mine have made something, and I don't know if it'd be weird or not if we tried to make something.

I just think you're beautiful (like really beautiful), and I want more than 4 hours a day to see you.  And I even want more of you in those 4 hours.

I just don't want you to be another girl that he takes from me.

I knew I really liked you when I got jealous, even though he probably doesn't actually like you.

I just don't really know a thing about you, but something is telling me that I should.

And I hope you're being told the same thing.