Kinda Really Hate Myself Right Now

Sorry, sad post, but this is my blog, so here:

I can't talk to anyone without feeling like I'm either gonna hurt someone else's feelings or like no even cares about me or what I have to say.  Because any time I speak I instantly feel judged, and then I feel stupid, and then I feel like everyone hates me, and then I hate myself.  I feel like a good person, but to everyone else, I guess I'm not good enough.

"Is anybody out there?

Feels like I'm talking to

Myself."

When I'm supposed to be the honest blog, even though I just deleted a lot of what I was gonna say, half because it would hurt people's feelings, and the other half because I feel like you don't even care.  Girls always say they want a guy that's confident, but how the hell am I supposed to be confident when no girl even wants to think about spending eternity with me?

I hate everything right now, including myself, and that makes me feel like every girl I know has just taken me off of their list.  Can you please just let me be sad like you always are and give me a chance?

I want to make someone happy for the rest of forever, but with girls constantly saying how great of a friend I am, the idea of eternal love sounds unobtainable and ridiculous, which just makes me an even worse candidate for a husband.

And now I'm gonna spend two years in a country I'm supposed to be happy about going to, but right now it's ruining my chances of love even more.  See, this whole post is just ridiculous, and no one is probably even gonna find it, because people only ever cared about this blog when there was a grade attached to it.  And how I've changed my mind about a lot of things on this blog, including my "best friend."

I just feel like a terrible person, and I want to feel like a terrible person without being labeled as, "not confident enough," because I would feel confident if people weren't hypocrites.  See, I'm even name calling now.

Whatever, this post is stupid, I'm stupid, blah blah blah sorry for the disappointing post after a long while of nothing.

I just want someone to prove to me how untrue this post is.